Dracula's Fate

Count Dracula was killed one day and went up to the Pearly Gates to meet God. Naturally, God refused to let Dracula in because of all the sins that he had committed—going around sucking blood and killing people, that kind of a thing. But God was not without mercy. "I'll give you a chance to redeem your sins," said God. "I’ll send you back to earth, but not in a human form. You can be reincarnated as any other living thing of your choice. So, what would you like to be?"

Still unrepentant in the presence of God, Dracula said, "Okay, I want to become a living thing with wings that sucks blood!!! Bwah hah, hah, hah!!!"

"So be it," said God and He turned Dracula into a vampire bat. So back to Earth Dracula went, flying around sucking the blood of animals until one day he was killed by a farmer. So up he went again to meet God, feeling a little sheepish. "I’ll give you another chance," said God patiently. "I'll send you back again but not as a human or a bat. What will it be this time?"

Still adamant, Dracula said, "I still want to become a living thing with wings that sucks blood!!! Bwah hah, hah, hah!!!"

God thought for a while and then said, "Okay, if that’s what you want," and turned Dracula into a mosquito.

So back to Earth Dracula went, flying around and sucking blood until one day—splat!—he was squashed by his victim. So up he went again to meet God, feeling very stupid.

God’s patience with Count Dracula was finally giving out. He gave Dracula an ultimatum: "I’ll give you one last chance to redeem yourself. However, this time you cannot become a living thing. You can only be turned into a non-living thing of your choice. So what will it be?"

Still stubborn, Dracula thought for a moment and said, "Okay... then turn me into a non-living thing with wings that sucks blood!! Bwah hah, hah, hah!!!"

"No problem," said God and He turned Dracula into a non-living thing with wings that sucks blood.

Count Dracula became a maxi pad.