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Name: Christopher Hans Connell
Hair: Blond (Natural)
Hair style: Long and Straight
Eyes: Blue
Weight: 122 Ibs
Height: 5'10
Build: Skinnier than normal
Birthday: August 12, 1981
Born: Fort Campbell, Kentucky
Where I live now: Virginia
Current Releigion: Atheist (This does not mean I worship the devil, it means I do not beleive in a god, or a devil.)
Relationship Status: Currently Dating
Car I own: 1978 Buick Skyhawk
Favorite Band: The Cure
Person I would most like to meet: Robert Smith (Lead Singer of The Cure)
2nd. Person I would like to meet: Edgar A. Poe
Favorite Sport: None (I do not like sports)
Favorite Television Show: The Pretender
Favorite Food: Pizza
Favoirte Resturant: Taco Bell (Yeah I know Pizza is not servered at Taco Bell, but they do have mexican pizza.)
Favorite Actor: Jim Carrey
Favortie Actress: None
Favorite Cartoon Character: Scooby-Dooby Doo
Favortie Time of the Day: 4:20 p.m.
Favorite Poet: Edgar A. Poe
Favorite Poem: "The Valley of Unrest."
Favorite Colors: Purple and Orange
Favorite Number: 10
Favorite Animal: Cat
Lucky Number: 4 and 2
Advice for all you listening to me:
In this dark world their is a light, and I have searched for this light so much. A light that does cure my neverending darkness. What is this light you ask. Well the light is called "Love." In my life it began with this:
I go by the name "Douleur" when I am sad, "Sorrow" when I am depressed, and use the name "Jester" when I am not sad. My whole life I have tried to help others, and make them happy, take their mind off pain, take their mind off the disease we call "Living!"
I cheer those down up, break my Angel wings each time to stay at their level. Who cheers the Jester when he is sad. Once I thought no one...
An old love, once projected hate. When I merely cared, wanted to help. "Forever Alone" I said. "Foerver Alone" I thought Sorrow would live forever. I felt as if I were forever alone... The blood and tears mixed into a mass of nothing. I felt like this nothing. The dark and I were one, the darkness of my soul was too much... I broke like a stick. Tears fell as I fell deep into this nothingness. It was cold, it was old, I was alone. My heart was a skull with a tear of blood. I was and felt like nothing. The Cure's, good ol' Robert Smith was like me: Alone without a love... I went by Douleur, French for Sorrow... I could stare death in the eye, and death would blink. I was fearless, I felt no fear. I was nothing. I was like my broken mirror, smashed and left to lay there "BROKEN" Like a child's toy "Broken." I then wished for things to change. For someone or something to appear like a lightning bolt out of the darkness, to send the darkness down, send it away. To destroy that darkness I held. Destroy all the night, and take it from my used heart.
Everything seemed dead. Nothing felt real. "Bruised" "Battered" "Broken" I said. Felt like a grave in my heart. "Full of Sorrow" "Full of Pain" feeling like a snake. Low to the ground. Unable to get up off the ground. Like a Camelion wanting to merely dissappear. To vanish like a puff of smoke, seen clear, then never seen again. Darkness is what I felt. Sorrow is what I was... Death of my soul, lost it all, it became too much for even me too handle. I once saw those flowers but gone were they, I could not see the beauty in front of me, could not grasp it, could not touch, could not run my finger's along the beauty's jaw. I surrendered to the night. Surrendered it all to the darkness of my heart.
The self-hatred went on for some time... I put up those fake smiles, fake happiness, inside was nothing. People were fooled so easily. I could merely say something dumb, they'd never know, alas inside it was not the same way, I could not fake smiles to my heart, for it had grown black, like it was charred by flames. But inside there were no flames, the flame had gone out...
It was just my destroyed heart in the shell called "A Human Body" I was "Forever Alone"
Could I meet someone to take this "Mass Confusion Called My Mind" and Somehow change it too love..... Is love possible in this world? Can and does it exist or am I still dreaming? Or are you the one dreaming?
Through the darkness came her, that Dark Angel with those eyes. One of Sorrow as well. The eyes I dream of each night. The blood-red rose I give her is a symbol of things I hold for her. A love never thought to be found. The world somehow blossomed again, somehow everything became as it should. The hate passsed, the thought of the first love, dissappeared. This love was only here. Those Emerald Eyes... The skull with the tear that was in my heart was now holding a rose. The rose that would never die. Our blood is one, we are one. An Angel of my heart. Get a light-headed feeling near her. Become full of joy, once again. I am happy now. Through the "mass confusion" she healed a broken heart, She showed me that all things are possible that the thing called "Trust" "Devotion" "Friendship" and that the thing called "True Love" does exist. I am here to help once more. Here for a shoulder to cry on.